Cruising at the Trauma-Informed Sauna

IT GETS TO A PLACE OF MENINGITIS.

Join Holly, Nick, & Melissa as they run through a series of digressions, all running back to the trauma-informed sauna. How do you know you're in a place of mania? Have you accidentally revealed your hag identity to a coworker? Just listen to these three geezers.

HAPPY PRIDE QUEENIFERS!

P.S. Sorry if the audio is slightly funky this week, Melissa's on edit duty.

Thank you for listening queenifers!

Digress & Confess was created by us—Holly, Nick, & Melissa. The show's music was mixed by Nick, with credit to Kevin Macleod. The show is edited by Nick (& sometimes Melissa). Thank you to Brian for your editing guidance. Thank you to Jess for taking our season 1 show photo.

Follow the show on Instagram @digressconfesspod for the latest!

Transcript

0:12

Digress and So welcome back. Welcome back, everybody. Yeah. How we how we feeling today, girls? Feeling pretty good. I'm feeling like sleepy. Yeah. I'm tired. I was gonna say, well, it's starting to get gray outside, but I don't know. I'm feeling I'm feeling really good. I don't know. I'm feeling caffeinated, and I feel like my heart's gonna burst out of my chest. Nice. And like out of joy, out of pure joy. Out of joy. Holly, how are you feeling? Well, you two know how I'm feeling because we discussed at our favorite local coffee shop and support local. We always say that. We definitely have said that every time. We definitely always say that. I didn't just talk about Starbucks. No. But um I actually am feeling more calm now. But I I am I'm in a place of mania in a big way. Um I'm not gonna say why on mic because it's related to my job. So that's all I'll say. But just know that I'm having a crazy week. I'm having a crazy week. Holly almost leapt out of her chair at the coffee shop and I did ran from us. Yeah, on discussion of something. I am experiencing a full-body kind of nervous system shutdown. And I did say that the title of app was gonna be what it it's I forgot about. It's um it comes, it gets to a place of meningitis. Yeah, it gets to a place of meningitis where I'm kind of experiencing this sort of symptom due to how stressed I am, where um my skin from the top of my scalp to the soles of my feet is tender to the touch. From the tippity top to the tippity bottom. Yeah, from the top to the bottom, medical terms. Um yeah, my skin is kind of tender to the touch. It feels like, you know, when you have a fever and like your clothing brushing against your arm is like ouchy. My whole body feels like that, and I was really spiraling about it the other night and goo and you know, kind of convinced myself I had a spinal cord infection, and then it got to a place of meningitis. Because it always does. Because it always does. And what really made me put my phone down and take a benzo was when I went to Google meningitis symptoms and it kind of auto-filled with like the little the clock symbol next to it because I had looked up meningitis symptoms a a different time. So maybe many, maybe dozens. Well, several times yeah, yeah. Um, so it gets to a place of of Googling meningitis symptoms, and that's kind of where where I've been at. So that's where we're at. Yeah, Nick and and Melissa were met with a a quite manic energy earlier. Oh, but I do feel more calm now. Good. Yeah. Because I do think part of it was like um being heavily caffeinated. You've had a lot of water since. I have. Yeah. Being caffeinated while on Ozempic. Yeah. And also while you're like feeling a little like height a little okay. I'm short circuiting. Well, you're feeling kind of feeling a little gay. I mean gay. I mean you're feeling a little elevated stress-wise. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm vibrating. Yes. So Enough about me. No, I'm curious. I'm curious. Your your your place of like seek help is getting to a place of meningitis. Nick, when should you be when should we know that you need to seek help? Yeah. When no one's spoken to me in a couple days. Like when you're just not responsive. Yeah. Yeah. Which is what are you doing in that moment? What? Like, you're not responding to us, but like, how would you yourself know? Yeah. Like, what are you doing? When what is your like it's time to put the phone down moment? Like when you're spiraling. Or it's time to it's time to put whatever down. It's time to stop doing this thing. It's time to stop posting. It's time, yeah, whatever it is. You mean in like terms of mania? I feel like it's a good thing. Yeah, sure. Like when you're when you're when you're alone in your house being fucking crazy. Yeah, when you're having severe mental illness. What gets you to be like, okay, we're we're done here. Slow down. What makes you slap your own wrist? That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah. Uh when I spend uh money, like and like too much money. Oh. Like, because that's it hasn't it hasn't been like a big issue. But like well, like fandom fandom-based things. Like if I spend like more than $20 on something for a fandom, I'm like, how are we doing, bud? How are we how are we doing? Yeah. And I did spend over $20 on fandom this this week, so but I said, hey, that's okay. Do you want to share? It was Doctor Who related. It was um and I figured that I figured it is there was a sale on uh uh some Doctor Who audio dramas on Big Finish, and I said, sure. Yeah. It was uh 50 bucks, but I said okay. Sure. And then that's true about you. No, no. But it was in a moment where I was like, How am I doing? Yeah. Time to check in. Time to check in check in an inventory of my body, see what we're doing. And I was like, you know, yeah, this is fine. I think you have like a very classic like man mental illness where you just sort of collapse into yourself and we're not gonna hear from you, but maybe you're not like in a place of mania. No, no, I feel like I'm rarely in a place of mania. But if I have mania, it is money related. Like I'm always like, let's buy everything. Everything money's meaningless. Yeah. I feel like relatively harmless. I'm impressed that you're like if I spend over $20, because $20, I'm like, when I'm in a place of mental illness, the shit I am looking at is shit that's like I'm justifying things that you can't imagine. Me and Holly are shoppers. That's true. When I was at the mall with Jared yesterday, I was like, Holly's a mall rat. I'm such a mall rat. Still to this day shopping. Do you want to know what though? I and I think this surprises people about me. What I would not describe myself as like financially reckless. I do live paycheck to paycheck. So my sort of irresponsible decisions I don't feel like I go too crazy with my spending when I'm in a when I'm in a place of mania and shopping. Like have you ever found yourself in a place of mania at the mall? Um maybe if it's like if I okay, sometimes yes, if I am um like really looking for an outfit for like an event or something, I'll kind of manically shop and maybe spend more money than I wanted to. But like when I'm feeling extremely mentally ill, I don't tend to put like to like charge the credit card because I am terrified of financial ruin, of course. You're also, I feel like, less of an online shopper. Yeah. Like you like to go in. This is going back to being a mall rat. Is that if you I love in-person shopping in person and spend more money there. I mean, I did buy my Stanley Cup at my lowest. I think I had like $54 in my checking account for like a week. This is all going to Stanley. You said it. And I went to Target. I was like, if this is what it takes for me to not kill myself today, like I will be buying this $45 plus tax Stanley Cup. Right. And I did, and I loved it. And I am sipping from that thing 24-7. That was like two years ago. Is that what that is? No. That was a gift, and this is a hydro flask. Oh, okay. Do you prefer the hydro flask or the Stanley? Um, I actually don't have a preference at all. I like the lid on this one more because it's like a cute. Yeah. You can like pop it open. Rachel's like the most ridiculous. I don't know if it's a Stanley or Hydro Flask or whatever. But it's like a Stanley, her jug. Her jug. Yeah, her like gallon jug. She literally handed it, she was drinking from it and holding it like a normal person. Yeah. And then handed it to me, and it was like a hundred pounds. Yeah. And I was like, how when you were holding this, it looked like a normal person holding it. Like it didn't look normal in her hands, obviously. It looked huge, but she was holding it as though it didn't weigh a thousand pounds and then handed it to me and I dropped to the floor. Oh. Crazy. Nick you have an Awala. I'm also an Awala. Awalla. I think the problem with me is like I really love water bottles, but I'm very afraid of mold. And so that's why I like the Awala, because you can take out the parts more easily and put them all in the dishwasher. Yep. I like that too. Um you can do that with with the Stanley too. Oh really? I didn't know that. You can take them apart completely. That's good. Yeah. Because I have thrown, and I am somebody who will throw, I think the thing I waste the most money on is I will throw containers of stuff away if I'm worried about mold. Like I won't clean it. I will throw it away because I'm too scared. Yeah. Yeah. So don't mess with that. Don't mess with that. I try not to buy mug or like water bottles because I will often throw them away out of fear. Out of an out of a place of OCD. Not out of a place of just like randomly wasting things. Yeah, not not from like an overconsumption. No. No. No. Yeah. You know, I do think Stanley's over because I'm seeing them at home goods now for like 20 bucks. Oh, okay. That'll do it. Is Hydro do you feel like Hydro Flask is what the young what the what the girlies are doing right now? Like what's what's what's who's the girl on the scene right now, I guess. I think the water bottle or do you think water bottles are like on the scene right now? I think is a walla. Because there's all the different like color combos and people are like really into that. I think that's what the the youths like. I like how Europeans are like Americans are always drinking so much water, and I'm like, beep should probably drink water. We should all be hard it is to get water in Europe. It is. Yeah. I do think that there is well, you know, the the I do see takes online sometimes that are like the reason Europeans don't drink as much water is because their water has different like minerals and stuff in it, so they don't need to drink as much water as Americans because Americans have sodium and blood like XYZ in their water, and that's why we have to drink more water here because there's chemicals in our water and there isn't in Europe. And they have better quality produce, so they get they get hydration from the food they eat. Which like I mean there might be some truth to that, but like there might be like small truth to that, but like that's not they're just dehydrated. I mean, yeah, they're just dehydrated. The evidence of that isn't overwhelming, like it isn't it's not gonna outweigh drinking water, yeah. Right. Yeah, I do think there is something to be said about like hydration culture in America. Like I'm I've I've really become anti-um electrolyte packets, and I used to really like them. Like I used to suck on those like juice. You don't need them, you don't need them, and in fact, like regular consumption of them is actually like quite damaging to your body. Can be. Yeah, yeah. If you sit down most of the day, like most people with like an office type job do, you don't need that. You don't need it if you're doing class pass three times a week, sweating for an hour, you don't need that. You did yoga once this week. Like, I don't think you need that. If you're like hot Pilates class, you don't need one of those like thousand milligrams of sodium electrolyte packets. No, but then when when you're sick, those can be super healthy. Oh, that's right, yeah. People will do anything except drink electrolytes when they're sick, they'll only drink them when they're healthy. Right. Like actually, let's turn it out, let's turn around the opposite. Bringing you back to hot yoga. Have you guys done hot yoga before? I refuse to exercise in a heated room. I don't like yoga, and I don't want to be hot. Oh, yeah. I love yoga, but I like it in the comfort of my living room. Oh, yeah. Because like, imagine doing yoga in a sauna. I would rather die. I actually don't ever want to go in asana like at all. What? I'm sorry to inform you of this. I hate being hot. Wow. And asana is essentially, I know I'm saying sauna. Yeah. Sauna. Thank you. In a sauna. Sauna. You're just saying, yeah, I'd like to be hot. That's my nightmare. Yeah. That's my nightmare. Yes, I'm moving to North Carolina. You're right, yeah, yeah. My nightmare is to be hot, especially in a place with other people where we're all hot. True. Oh. But the private sauna, like having your own sauna. No, I still don't want to be hot. I come from a place of anemia. And so like probably not being extremely hot makes me lightheaded and it makes my heart beat rapidly to where it feels like I'm exercising when I'm just sitting. So hate saunas. Sorry, I will not be saying sauna, unfortunately. I will be saying sauna. Um, I hate saunas, I've always hated them. And not even like because of like the the anemia of it all, but because I find it hard to breathe in them. The air is so thick and it has like a smell. And it I I like I mix like I love it. And I love that, yeah, right now it gives me a headache. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I've never liked them. And then, yeah, there is, of course, being anemic and that's right. Yeah, the other like health things. Yeah, yeah. I gave your little Tamadachi um a sauna leaf thing. Good. Your little thing. One of the things was like a like a sauna leaf, and I was like, this is going to next. That's right. Thank you. Thank you. I deserve it. Yeah. No, I think so. I love saunas. I love being in like the living Finland famous. I lived in Finland, but even when I was a kid, like it's always something I really enjoyed. Like um, I just recently learned oh athlete. I learned I am an athlete, thank you. I have an athlete. I have a athlete culture. Yeah. Yeah. Uh no, I just learned this Finnish word, and of course I don't remember what it is, but it basically is um fake fan, fake sauna fan, and it is uh a Finnish word basically that means when in order to like start the sauna, like the sauna is hot, like it's it's warm, but you haven't put the water on the rocks yet. Um that basically is like overwhelming the rocks. So like the rocks are hot, but you were just like throwing water, throwing water, throwing water, throwing water to the point where like you can't see in the room, and then basically like you stay until your body can handle it, then you leave. That's what Holly was doing on Google. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you were overwhelming your nervous system with steam. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But like I love that. No, I love this idea of like sitting in a room and just being like, let's go, let's go, let's go. Where like to the point where it hurts to open my eyes. I love that. It like hurts to breathe. Do you have one of the little free cats? No. My boss loves to go to saunas and he has those little hats, and then every time somebody brings up a sauna, he's like, You gotta get a hat. What happened? I don't know about that. I don't agree with that. How do we associate wool hats or felt? I don't know what the difference between wool and felt is. I'm gonna be able to do that. It's the same. No, I don't know what it is. They look like little um um gnome hats. They do, they're just like little cones that you kind of put on your head. Pass. I don't think it's something you should know. I feel like it's a part that like only people like hard for a sauna people. I feel like even the Finnish people that I saw doing sauna didn't do that. So I'm like very confused. I think it's like very, very traditional. Oh my god. In the sense that like, you know, we don't wear traditional garb these days, but like if you're gonna go to a historical museum or like a living history museum, you'll see it there. It feels like that kind of tradition. It's like a little felt hat that looks like a gnome hat. Yeah. And it's usually gray, but it like comes in many colors. I didn't know about this. I think I heavily associate saunas with nudity. Which that's true too. Yeah. So I can't imagine wearing a felt hat while being just like booty ass naked. At this point, I can do it. That's true. Like I try I I'm imagining like a little, a little, um, a little felt hat for your pink dis. Party hat. Oh my gosh. Nick, let me ask you this. And maybe this is a personal question you don't have to answer. But have you ever tell us about your call. Tell us about your call. So I'm uncircumcised. That would be huge news to me, extreme news. If that were true, that would be huge of true. Huge of that. Why would you lie to us? I know exactly. Um, I was gonna ask if you've ever had like a like a like a experienced like a cruising situation, like a sauna or like a steam room cruising situation. No, I haven't. Um is that something you'd be open to? No, I am terrified about that. I'm like, don't because I feel like that's really like a thing. No, it's a good thing. That's really like a subculture. It is there is a subculture of the gay community. I forget there's an app, I think um, I forget what it's called, but it basically is like a cruising app that like you have like sniffies. It is sniffies, yeah. So you have like you drop a location and that's like this is where we're going tonight. No, I mean like if you notice your penis. Yeah, for your penis. Notice me short circuiting as this episode goes on. It is again due to my nervous system being in overdrive. Meningitis. I'm in a place of meningitis, okay. All systems are yeah, we're we're struggling. So give me some give me some grace. Give me some grace, god damn it. You're in a season of meningitis. I'm in a I'm in a season of meningitis, okay? Um what? Yeah, what were we talking about? Cruising. Are you talking and sucking and sawing? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I and cruising, of course, is like a uh a part of of gay culture, but the the subculture I'm specifically referring to is like in saunas and steam rooms and like bathhouses and whatever. Like it's like through the through the fog, you see. Aren't they trying to change like um the laws in Minneapolis about this? They are. They're currently uh in the city of Minneapolis. I think they're trying to uh add bathhouses, which is like great. I won't participate in them, but yeah, like go ahead and do do your thing, shake a chip. I would go just like girl out, just like check it out. Yeah, yeah. I think it is my nightmare to like flirt with somebody while extremely hot. Right. Because like with like a bathhouse, yes, it is like a very like prominent gay cruising spot, but it is also like a spa at the same time. Yes, and like you can go and just relax and enjoy yourself. You don't have to do like the sex stuff, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Kind of like a gay bar. You can go to just grill out. That's true. Yeah. If well, not everyone. Not everyone is. Not everyone can do that. True. If you're like, you know, queer or like invited by a queer person. Not if you're like a straight woman bachelorette party. Let's cut what I'm about to say, but I you have to be invited into those spaces. You do, you do, and you revealed your hag identity to him. You've revealed my hag identity to him, and now we're besties. You know what I mean? I bet he kind of was like, yes. Yeah, he was I think he was like, I did ask him if he had gone to um uh a gay club in Minneapolis. The Lady Gaga concert. Reveal yourself. Reveal, reveal. Reveal yourself. Um I asked him if he had gone to, I was like telling him I wanted to go out dancing, and I was like, Oh, have you ever been to and I named a club that I didn't realize is like a BDSM club. I thought it was just a gay club. And he was like, No, I don't think I've been to that. And then I found out that weekend, and then when I saw him on Monday, I was like, hey, so I wouldn't have asked my coworker if they were going to BDSM clubs if I had known that. I just thought people were dancing there. I didn't know there were specific dancing there. Why can I never remember the name of that place? I don't remember it's in Northeast. I can see where it is. It has like uh like dragons on the outside or white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, but I do I didn't know. I would say I would describe it as more of like a goth club, but they do BDSM like performances. So yeah, so when I was in when I was in Finland, uh there was this uh pool spa area that was like a very big cruising site for for queer folks in in Helsinki, and I don't even remember the name of what the pool was called, but it was basically this this pool was in the bottom, and then it was like uh it was open from the pool up, and it was I think it was like two or three stories, and then on the outside were like spas or saunas on every level, and you had access to all of these, and it was the perfect cruising spot because you could basically be like every time you open the door, being like, Oh, is someone sucking or fucking? Okay, is that what I want? Am I into it? I'll enter, you know, and so then you'll keep going. Enter at your own risk. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but they you know, I got there in August of 23, they closed in October of 23, and then they just opened up like I don't know, a couple months ago. So they hate you specifically. They do hate me. It was a very targeted person at a personal attack, and I also would have never gone there for that reason anyway, so like it didn't really fucking matter. But seeing the pictures of like what the space looked like, you'd be like, yeah, I would have gone there for just like a spa day, not for a suck of the fucking kind of day. But that sounds very beautiful. Oh, and it was gorgeous, it was an awesome building, but they uh just needed to renovate it, which is why it took them two years to do it. But would you okay, let me ask you this. What do you got? Again, you don't have to answer. What do you got? Would you say your avoidance of like cruising type spaces is due to like having maybe like a prudish personality, or do you think it's like insecurity based? Insecurity based. I think it's insecurity based because I think all of my like prudishness is insecurity based. Yeah. And so I think it is a big part of like me not accepting my body, also not accepting my s sexuality like a hundred percent of the way, not necessarily in like a homophobic way, but in like a Yeah. I can be a sexual being. What do you mean? Like, so there's a lot that I still need to process. Where is the trauma-informed cruising space? Exactly. Wow, that's really woke of you. Trauma. Yeah, exactly. Trauma. That's that's like what it's like to be to be in like the Minneapolis like queer exchange group on Facebook. The posts really are like looking for a fat-friendly, queer-friendly, kink polyamory-friendly, trauma-informed. I can't stop saying trauma like Jamie Lee Curtis. Of course, trauma-informed uh cruising space for me and my um my Metamore. Also, my Metamor is experiencing um a gap in their resume due to having a traumatic situation with their boss. Here's our Cash App. Yeah. So you really haven't sent me any screenshots from Queer Exchange lately, and that's kind of devastating. I know. There hasn't really been much going on. There was like some well not drama, but there was an active post recently where like some I don't know, like a kind of classic like 40-something Midwestern lesbian had posted that like they were Are you guys following the saga of um lesbian cricket lady? No. What? Um the the Boss Strong who lesbian who works at cricket. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She she posted that it was her final days at cricket. Yes. Saw that. Saw that. She lives in Ohio, but then she teased a return to cricket. She's moving to Indiana and seemingly cricket. This is going in the carousels. Imagine her. Imagine just like imagine like Butch Lesbian running a cricket mobile like the Navy. Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. She has hair. She looks exactly how you're picturing. Okay, good. Okay, good. Her hair is like that. There's highlights. And brass. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. She's got tattoos. Yeah. But not like a patchwork sleeve, like old school real tattoos. Like traditional, yeah. Yep. Yes. Lover. Obsessed with her. Yeah. But she posts videos of her just like sexy dancing in the cricket that she manages. Yeah. Great. And the cricket is like the sign is like really on display in the back of the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a cricket. Yeah. And she always hashtags Boss Strong. Yeah. Boss Strong. I love her. I'm obsessed. I don't know her name. I love her so much. You want to know what though? That the like that type of person, probably the best manager you could ever have. Probably. 100%. Yeah. Gosh, this reminds me of the whole drama with Patagonia. Have you guys heard about this? I mean, yeah, I feel like it's everywhere online, which I really love. I love how Patty is, you know, standing up. She's cool as hell. She's almost like, how is she doing that? Whenever she does her walks, I'm like, stronger than I. No, I'm literally, yeah. I'm so impressed. It's really like such a bummer from Patagonia, though. Because like they're generally like quite a good company. Well, all businesses are bad businesses. All businesses are bad businesses, but like the most confusing part about all of this, Patagonia is a region. Yes. Yeah. Like full stop. Like literally, what what? I also think this is such a missed opportunity for like a brand partnership because Patagonia could have like really leaned in and been like, hey, you can't use our IP. Like, don't make merch with our logo and font and whatever. Well, how about we partner instead? Yeah. They would have made so much money. Together, 100%. Yeah. How about we stand with the queer community? And I think they're trying to come across as like, you know, oh, like we just don't want, we don't want people using our IP, so we're only suing for a dollar. But like in the actual lawsuit, it's like they're trying to take away Patty Gonia's use of her name. Yes, right, right. So yeah, they're suing for a dollar, but like the damage is the damage is so much bigger than that. It's just so like it's almost worse that they're only suing for this. It is. It's it's symbolic. It's literally about it's not about money, it's literally just about removing the name. Correct. And too, like the the problem of it all, or whatever, I guess, is like Patty Gonya never was using their IP. That was like fan-made merch that Patty had reposted on her Instagram story or something. So it's like, okay, go after the freaking Etsy creator if you're that bothered about it. My God. Yeah. Well, don't do that. But again, it's it's just a big company that's like going after, like, you know, a queer artist, and they they had the opportunity to do something like really cool and didn't, and now they're just kind of showing their ass. So and this also is like kind of something I've seen a little bit in like businesses in general. I feel like businesses are also kind of panicking. Yeah. Just like across the board. I know this whole thing with like ChatGPT is kind of falling through. I know Google and Meta are doing some like new subscription-based things, which are terrifying. Yeah. But like basically, this is them like trying to like save a sinking ship. Yeah. And it's just like, I don't, I mean, I stopped using Google because now I'm using DuckDuckGo because that's like I don't I don't want to be using, you know, I don't want to be forced into the subscription model. One of my favorite YouTubers is using, she uses, she's been using for a while, she's been using the last like one or two years. She's using something else. It's not that, but it's a different thing. Ask Jeeves. Jeeves, it's coming back. No, it's something else, but it's like a binged it thing. Binged it. Let me bing it. I'm gonna I'm gonna bing it quick. Because Microsoft is is just like so much better than Google. Yeah, binged it. I fucking binged it. I fucking binged it, mate. Why does that feel like someone who's run ran into someone else's car? Right. I fucking binged it. It's not that bad, really. Yeah. Oh it is geza fucking binged it. Holly's body is ready for Love Island. Yeah, it is. Her body is preparing her. It is. I'm ready, I'm ready to visit London again. Yeah. Find a British man to entertain me for a night. So I can say, you know what I can say really good in a British accent. They're like, I bet you can't say anything really good in a British accent. And I say, Oh, it is fucking geyser. And they're like, okay, that was kind of good. I'm like, I know it was. That's your party trick. Yeah. It is ultimately a vocal stem. So yeah, I'm just gonna be. I wish geezer was a uh a word we could use over here. Hey, because geezer, like you would say, like, oh, that old geezer, and it's like a grumpy old man. Yeah, that's it. Like I would like describe my dad as like an old geezer, too. Not like a young, sexy man about town. No, it is fucking gay. Geeze. Yeah, like old geezer. I also feel like geezer is like really offensive. I don't know why that's like calling an older person. I don't know, to me, that's why I'm like scared. I'm like, No, no, no, no. Slurl. Slurler. Slurler. Let me let me duck duck. Let me go duck duck go this quick. Slur. I'll text Anna and be like, which islander was just kicked off. Slur alert. A slur. A slur, slur alert, a slur alert, slur alert. Is geyser? A slur. Is geezer a slur? What does it say? Whether geezer is a bad word depends entirely on where you are and how you use it. In the US, usually mildly insulting or dismissive. It refers to an older man, especially one who's cranky, eccentric, or out of touch with modern trends. In the UK, casual slang term for a man guy or bloke. He's a proper geyser. Right. Or diamond geyser. Diamond geyser. He's a dodgy geyser. I don't know why. I really am so good at saying geezer. You really are. It's because of Love Island. It literally is because of Love Island. Yeah. Oh, I also feel like the way that British people say uh like bird, like to refer to women. Yeah. Because again, like I think I would only hear like an old woman say that. Right. Here. And even then I would be surprised. But like having men refer to their bird. Yeah. Or a Hindu. Do you know what a Hindu is? I know a Hindu is a H. Isn't that also like a bachelorette? Like a Hindu? A Hindu is a bachelor party. Hando is a bachelor party, yeah. A bachelorette party. I only know that because a stag is is bachelor. Oh, yeah, that's right. Only because one of the Doctor Who audio dramas that I recently bought was. There was a Hindu. There was a Hindu in it. Yeah, exactly. Of course. Yeah. Vampire Weekend. Yeah, it was really good for the thing. But it's like you would never ever say I wouldn't call a woman a bird here. No, I don't think I've ever heard that. I don't hear that ever. And the Hindu. It also feels derogatory still, like calling someone a bird. But then it's like we call women chicks. Yeah. I guess. Yeah. So we just infantilize them in the United States. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Bring it back to hot yoga. I'm surprised you guys haven't ever done hot yoga. I don't know why it's surprising to you. I guess yeah. Everything you just said, it's not really that surprising. But I just didn't like it. Listen to women, Nick. Hey. I literally had to tell my dad that today. I had to call my call my dad out today. Yeah, no, I'm listening. Do you see us as women? Do you see us as equals? We're being um Tony Canvas. Yeah. If you want to take a chance that song that's always playing on Portlandia. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Put a bird on it. Why are you just addicted to hot yoga all of a sudden? A bird? No, I just like bring it back to a bird. To a place of bird. Put a bird on it. Put a bird on it. Put a bird on it. Okay, so hot yoga. Hot yoga, hot yoga. I had we're thinking about hydration, hot yoga, saunas. So I went to hot yoga twice when I was in college. And the first time I went, I said, wow, this is so great. I feel awesome. I feel like I went to the sauna, but also had a great time, hung out with my friends. Did you go to core power? And then left. I think it was at Core Power, yeah. And yeah, I got into my car, like felt really good. I remember that night I like went home and did homework and like felt really awesome. So then when the next week rolled around, I was like, Yeah, I'm really excited to go. But guess who didn't eat food beforehand? So it was about halfway through, and I was like, I think I'm gonna die here. I think this is this is it for me. And so I was sitting there, you know, doing hip thrusts to the air and was like, I gotta stop, dude. I was like, I think I like my vision, I was like closing in, I was like, wow. And so I like had my water bottle next to me, but then all of a sudden it was the bottom of my water bottle, and I said, No, no, can't be. No, this was full. What? So then, yeah, when I got back to my car, well, first of all, finished the hot yoga, barely made it out alive, and then I got to my car and felt so dizzy that I had to sit in my car for a half hour before I could drive the five minutes home. Yeah. So I love hot yoga. I would never do that. That reminds me of, and I mostly bring this up so that Holly will put it in the carousel. Good, yeah. Of when Rachel forced us all to do for her bachelorette. Um hot yoga? Not hot yoga. She forced us to do cycling. The next we went out, we went out all night. Everybody, of course, Rachel was wearing her bachelorette getups. Everybody's like, bye the brightest shot. Yeah. She got drunk as hell, which is her right. Um and then the next morning she got up and she was like, I'm feeling pretty good. We all went cycling, which was crazy. And I would only do that for like very few people, and I would never do it again. We did that. We walked back to the hotel. Rachel uh projectile vomited. And then I have a photo of her, it's on my fridge, sitting downstairs in the lobby looking dead. Um, so I would like that in the carousel. And I think and I imagine that's probably what you also looked like, but just in your form after hot yoga. Exactly, yeah. No, and that's right. That's correct. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let me introduce um a new kind of coin flip because I think I've told Melissa this, but you know how I always say, like, most people, you're either a puker or a pooper. Wow. Oh. And rarely are you both. Yes. Sometimes, but it not often. Yep. And and lucky for me, I'm one of the few. I'm one of the chosen. She's one of the lucky few. One of the chosen. But my newest coin flip is you're either a fainter or a migraine haver. Oh. I'm a fainter. I think I'm a fainter too. I'm a fainter as well. Except I haven't fainted yet, though, because I always seem to catch myself. But like I don't have migraines. Oh, I thought you fainted before your epidectomy. No, I got close though. I got close, but I didn't. No. I've never had a migraine ever, but I have fainted and gotten like or near fainted. So we know that you have the ability to faint. I mean, there's like any time. Maybe don't take it all the way. I mean, that's what I mean. I think you're a quitter. I think I am a quitter. I'm a quitter. But like whenever I think about whenever I think about veins, like in the body. Oh, you have a vasovagal response? Yeah. Like when there's like a whole thinking about like there's a whole web of- What did you say? A vasovagal response? I didn't. What is that? It's like when you pass out at the site of blood or like veins and stuff. That's what that's called. Yeah, I do have to look away. This is me when I get my blood drawn. Yeah, me too. Me too. I say, Yep, I just can't look. Just I won't look at you. Yeah. Well, I can look at blood. I can see blood. If it's someone else's blood, it's fine. But when I think about the fact that my body is constructed of these like web networks of blood that's pumping and flowing. Like even now, I'm like, how are we doing? Yeah. Checking in, bud. Me too. Wow. The only time I've felt like grossed out by something medically was when my dad got his cancer removed because um they burn it off when it's at that point. And so it smells like burning flesh. And that and we were in a tiny room and it was really horrible. And the doctor did say that she because my dad was like, What is that smell? And she's like, It's your flesh burning. And he was like, That's horrible. And I was like getting pretty nauseous, but I was trying to be there for him, of course. And the doctor said that she one time had a patient be like, I kind of like the smell. And I was like, That's the scariest thing I've ever heard. Hey, don't say that out loud. Don't ever say that out loud. That's an inside thought. Don't tell me. That's only a thought for inside. Yeah. Wow. So we're all fainters, though. That's okay. We're all fainters. Yeah. That's what brings us together. Yeah, I'm with you. I don't seeing someone else's blood, I don't like it. I don't want to see it, but I can see it and go like, whoa, and get a little scared. My seeing my own blood leave my body. Uh-huh. Periods are tough. Periods are tough. Even though it's a di it's like a different, it's not your body's like blood like source. I don't know. It's just uterine lining or whatever. Tissue, whatever. I don't know. You're right. Okay. I was like, Hey, I'm no doctor. I'm no doctor. Me neither. What am I doing? I thought you went uterine lining and then you looked me directly in my eyes. Like, is that right? Is that right? Well, unfortunately, I'm stupid, so seeking validation always. Supporting each other. I don't like the thought of my own blood leaving my body. Oh, it scares me so much. I mean, it bothers. No, nothing. Blood does not bother you. Nothing bothers you. Yeah, basically nothing like that bothers me. No. Which I think goes back to episode one of like all of my anxieties. There are lots of things I'm not scared of that are weird. I mean, in fact, I would say like the times when I've really I probably should have had a larger response to my own blood. Yeah, like other like Jared, sorry to this man. He's like, hey, I'm feeling very afraid at how much blood. And I'm like, it's probably fine. It's probably fine. And he's like, I'm gonna pass out. And I'm I'm sure the amount of blood leaving your body kind of contributed to that. Like, right. Whatever. Jared's like, How are you feeling? I'm like, when he had to drive me to the hospital, which we should have literally wobbling. When he had to drive me to the hospital when I was bleeding out after my hysterectomy, which, you know, upon reflection, I do think we should have called an ambulance, but I was being very casual about it. So briefly. Right. Um, but he was asking me the whole time. He was like, Are you like the whole drive? He was like, Are you feeling dizzy? Are you gonna pass out? And the whole time I was like, No, the whole time I was very afraid I was going to pass out. I was like, he's gonna crash the car if you're gonna be able to get it. You're mad, you're mad, you get into a fight. Like, Jared, shut the fuck up. What's wrong with you? Why would you ask me that? Why would you ask me that? I'm literally there like losing one better moment. I soaked through my pants and a blanket. Like, I'm fine. I'm about to die. I'm like, no, I don't think I'm gonna pass out. I'm probably fine. Yeah, I'm okay. But I am a fainter in that moment. Oh it was very close. It's true, it's true. Wow. I was gonna ask you guys a question that I thought of, a new question for for folks. Because yesterday, Jordan and I were looking at new mattresses. We went to sleep number, which I think that sleep number is a good mattress, but I think a lot of it is kind of like they're selling you on this program they have, that's probably not as worth it. Um download our app to use our mattress. Yeah, because their whole thing is your sleep number, right? Yeah. The firmness. I thought it was like how good of sleep you're getting, but it's apparently the firmness of the mattress that you like. I didn't realize this, but we had a whole demo yesterday. Oh and one thing I noticed that I brought up to Jared is that all of the employees on their name tag have their sleep number. And I thought I found that kind of creepy because like it's not actually that creepy, and obviously you could put anything, but I'm like, I just know women who have that on their name tag. A man's like, so you like a soft mattress, you know? Yeah. There's something about that just feels I don't think it's probably an issue for men there. Right. But for the female employees, I feel like maybe I don't want to maybe I don't want to have that as a line of questioning. Right. But you guys are my actual friends, and so I'd like to know what kind of mattress do you guys like? I would like to know this about you. So that when we all live together in our big shared house and I buy a huge room-sized mattress. Yeah. Yeah. I like um I like a more firm mattress that you can like sink into. I don't want a bouncy bed at all. Yeah. Firm. Yeah, I feel the same way about like my couch. Like my couch is perfect. Yeah. It's like firm, but you can really like sink into it and it kind of cushions around you. Yeah. That's what I like. Like I like a hybrid mattress where I don't want it to be all memory foam, but I don't want it to be all spring either. I want a combo of the two. I think I would agree with that. I think it's the same for me because it's like I don't know. I also like the like going from one to another. I like like having a little bit of variety of being like, hey, if I'm really, really like sinking into this one, I'd like to like a little bit of a hard one. So there are like some naps that I take where I just am like straight up on the ground, like straight up on the floor. Wow. I used to do that when I was sick all the time as a child. I would lay under the coffee table. You're calling me childish? Well, yeah. Jocelyn. Yeah. That was my spot. You know, I think I've done that before too. Sometimes it's a good spot. Your bones are kind of like soft. Yeah. It's like kind of fine. You can go whatever. I feel like I don't like to lay on the floor because it reminds me of puking. Oh, of course. Because there because there comes a time after I've like heaved a bunch and I'm laying on my bathroom floor. Yeah. Right, yeah. And I puke. Well, I don't puke that much, but I dry heave that much. That it's like a yeah. It reminds you of the tile around the porcelain. Yeah. So what is your bed? Is your bed the mattress firmness that you'd like it to be? It's like it's really uh I don't know, I sink into it. It's an older one. Okay, good. Because I feel like you were in a twin bed for quite some time. Well in in college I was, and then shortly after college I got a queen. But weren't you in a twin bed through high school? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. You had a twin bed for quite some time. Wait, is that weird? I was like, yeah. That was oh yeah. No, I've always had a twin bed and you don't have like a small house or anything. No, no. I just was like, I didn't want to like You're not poor. You're not a poor. I'm not a poor person. But I like wow. No, but I just like never asked for it. Well, first of all, I've always had like small rooms. So I was like, if I get any bigger of a mattress, like I'm not gonna have any space for activities. Like, what do you what do you mean? Yeah. So I just it was never something that was on my radar. And I always thought it was like luxury when I'd like go over to your place or some other people's places, I'd be like, why big ass bed? Yeah, I was like, your mattress is a huge. This is just like what? I was like, you are rich. I am poor. Like, like, wow, this is great. Love. Like, um, but no, then it was like after college when I finally was like, oh wait, I can I can do what I want. Yeah. Wait, this is nice. What size bed do you have now? It's a queen. Oh, I have a full. I've always had a full. I don't think I realized yours was a full. Yeah. We're learning a lot about one another. Oh, yeah. That's true. It is a full. Yeah. I always had a full. Wow. I'm five foot five and I sleep alone. I don't need a queen bed. That's true. Although I will say, um, I think since I've been in my current apartment, a man has only slept in my space. I think only one man has slept in my space. Yeah. And I did realize I'm like, oh, a full a full bed is kind of small for two adults. Yeah, for two people. Yeah. But for just me and Cuckoo, personally. Yeah, it's perfect. That just reminded me of like, I think, why I like twin mattresses so much when I was younger. Because I was tall enough that my feet could hang off the edge. Oh, you like that? And I loved that. You're not afraid of getting got. What if somebody gets you? Exactly. No, it was never because I was never concerned about. Entity under the bed. Exactly. No, because I always grabbed your phone. I always put shit under the bed, so make sure you have a couple of storage. So did I, but like an entity can kind of enter and lives in the boxes. Well that's what no, that's what the boxes protect the entities from under the floor. Fundamentally misunderstand the entity. The entity was in the box. Everybody goes to bed tonight. Yeah, exactly. Fuck, there is something underneath the bed. It's just Kafka under my bed now, which is great. I mean, because it's cold, it's summertime. And so I'm actually. He does. He's getting older now. And it takes him a little bit longer to get under there now, but he still loves it. He loves it. And let me tell you, Cucumber is an entity under my bed because he will be biting my toes. Yeah. So I was like, Vindicated, I had a vision of a little, a little tiny man with a mustache named Cucumber as a young child. Yep. Yeah. Did you guys ever watch that Disney movie that was like Don't look under the bed? Don't look under the bed with like the blue monster thing. The scariest shit. I thought blue monster was so friendly. Literally. He has long ass fingernails. Yeah. I loved that movie. That movie scared me so bad. Yeah. It was so nice. And they pulled it from Disney Channel. They did. It was too scary. It was too scary. I don't know. There was something about that blue guy that just like really did it for me. Yeah, scary. Also part of my sexual awakening. Well, it happens. So are when are we going to start our Clone Wars rewatch? Anybody? I will not be watching the Clone Wars. Oh, okay. It's great. It's great. Do you want to know what I'm saying? I don't know what that is. What? Sorry. I don't know what that is. Clone Wars? Clone Wars? It's okay. It's a Star Wars thing. Oh, yeah, I'm not I'm not watching that. Are you crazy? Yeah, no, no. Obviously not. There's dragons in it. Are there dragons in Star Wars? No, there's not, no. Same, same, same essence. Dragon adjacent. There's a there's a what is Jabba the Hut? What is he? He's a hut? A wingless dragon? He's the hut. He's a worm. Is he a worm? Is that his like what is his what's his nationality? I think I think it is. Is it hut? Jabba the hut. But I think the hut is like the family name, and then he's like some lineage name. What is the hut? I thought that I thought the hut was like yeah, like that's that's his his lineage. I think it's his lineage. I think it's a family. Which you do in Clone Wars, you do see more of his family. Wow. Because I was like, I don't think I've ever seen another hut. There's a few others, and they're equally as fucked up. Georgia said fat. Fat. Job of the fat. Job of the fat. Yeah. I will tell you all about him. I just thought of an amazing bit that the person participating wouldn't know that they're participating in. But an amazing bit for myself would be to ask probably any man. So, like, what's even the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek? Oh, uh, yeah. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. If I should ask the next guy I go on a date with, yeah. I'm gonna ask that. It might set them off though. I feel like that is like a dangerous question for like. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah, and then I'll I'll know that I'm gonna be talked at for 45 minutes instead of kind of getting trapped in that situation, which is what usually happens. That's true. So this is like the It's for my own entertainment. Yeah, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, just to see like how uncomfortable they get. Yeah. My new bit, which I tested, we have to cut this because I don't want this on record, but you know, here's a confession. Okay, what's your confession? I saw you two hanging out on Friday, I had FOMO, even though I was on the clock. Yeah. And it would have been literally impossible for me to join. Yeah. But I said wish I was there. Could have dropped by. Yeah. We could have. And you didn't because you hate me. And I'm a burden to everyone around me. That's true. You guys are always thinking about it. That's true. I was like, I hung out with Holly on Monday by herself, and then I've seen both of you many times this week. That's been great. Because yeah, we're now like the time. Hey, the clock is ticking. Hey. Hey, I'm leaving in less than two months. Wow. It's time to hang out. Oh, I know. We know. Yeah, I know. That's so funny that you say that. So funny you should mention that. I was actually just thinking about that. I was thinking about it. Yeah, so we're gonna have to hang out all the time now. Yeah, we are. Because you're gonna be probably one of my only friends. Where the fuck did everyone go? Yeah. Actually, we do have to go shopping together. So we will go shopping together. We can go cruising. In the sauna, in the trauma-informed sauna. Trauma-informed sauna. Yeah, that'll be the title of our next episode of Trauma Informed Sauna. Cruising in the trauma-informed sauna. Exactly. Damn, damn. Ow. You guys are FaceTime me, FaceTiming me as you're cruising in the trauma-informed sauna. We're both naked in the sauna. Yeah, the battle of the title of apps in a place of meningitis. It gets to a place of meningitis versus the trauma. I think it has to be cruising. It's really good. It's really good. Okay, wait, Melissa, I don't think you answered what your preferred mattress firmness is. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm really grateful that Jared and I agree on this because that would be very scary. Then you would have to get a sleeper. Because I was like, I don't know that I would ever need to get one of those up, you know, where they're split. You have to get special split sheets. It's kind of like a tabby mattress. If you think about it, you have to get split special sheets. So it's basically like two twin mattresses next to each other? So there's two options. You can get two long mattresses or you can get a tabby style bed. Oh, so Polly is giggling. I am. I'm giggling at like the tabby bed. Cruising at the drama. It's really fucking funny. It's really fun. Okay, thinking about the mattresses though, they're like two. They can't bring it back again. It's so funny. It's so hard. In Finland, that was very popular. Having these, like if you have a queen or a king-sized mattress, it is like two separate things that you put next to each other. Oh, that's weird to me. And it was nice. It was kind of like a big thing. Do you guys like sharing a bed? I do. I don't know. I don't really like sharing a bed with a few. Oh, really? I don't do it enough because when I do, I have the worst sleep of my fucking life. Same. I get like sleeping. I sleep worse alone now. Yeah. Oh. That's because you have a lot of time. I've also been sleeping in a bed with somebody for a long time now. But also, I I think Jared would prefer he actually his ideal thing is having like a massive king size bed. He's like, there'd be more space because I'm a like a clinger in and I'm also like I snore, I cling. The concept of Jared's like extremely thin body in like a king size bed, too, is like so fucking. Every time we're like in a hotel and we're in a king size, he's like, look, this is so much better. I'm like, you're so far from yeah. He's like, that's what I mean. He wants it to get away from you. He's trying to get away from me. Um, yeah. You're like, you're like, Ma, don't make me drink alone. That's me. Let's be editing that for the carousel. Exactly. But you don't make me sleep alone. Exactly. Exactly. Um yeah, so I like a firm mattress. You like it, like it firm, like it firm. Jared and I both like a firm mattress. That's really good. And the mattress we bought is like probably the firmest mattress we lay down on. It's like hard, but like over time, of course, gets softer. Right, but cushions. But cushions. It's like I want firm but thick, not firm and hollow. I also didn't even think about until yesterday. Honestly, yesterday just opened my eyes to the world of mattress. Yeah. Because I just have never really thought about mattress besides like we've got our mattress and we really like our mattress. It's just at the end of its life. Yeah. But like there's so much mattress. And I didn't even think about the fact that like the inches on the mattress, like that's how cushy it would be. And so like the new mattress we have is a 12-inch mattress. Our current mattress is eight inches. So we're gonna have four inches more of Cush. Yeah. Crazy. Cush. Yeah. Dude. I do think I do a good skater. I think you do. Because you just have to. You have to beak it. You have to kinda beak. You have to kind of bird. Right. Bird out. Right on, brother. Right on. That's more surfer, kinda. Well, they kind of go hand in hand. They kind of go hand in hand. Yeah. Well, let's get into some confessions. I do have one. Oh, you do? Okay. Confess. My confession, and I don't know if either of you have clocked it. I feel like maybe not, because I'm pretty discreet about it, but um I did realize while speaking and thinking of a confession that like since we started this pod, I do sort of actively perform a compulsion the entire time we re we record every episode. And it is constantly checking that my mic is on and constantly checking this. Yeah, I have noticed you checking that your mic is on. Yes. Oh, I don't think I've noticed it yet. Um I didn't know it was like a compulsion. Yeah, no, I can't stop. Yeah. As soon as my thumb leaves this button, is when I start looking at it. Well, that's why I have to turn mine around because otherwise I'll do it. Yeah. So that's my confession. Whoa. Performance. Yeah. New compulsion unlocked. But you know what? This is kind of a compulsion to me that like isn't really distressing or like it doesn't really affect me that much. It's like a compulsion that you could use as an example for people when you're saying, like, that's not OCD. Yes. This does not hurt you. Right. This does not functionally affect you. Right. It's just a thing you're doing. Yeah. So that's my confession. If you catch me looking down, I am checking that my mic is on for the 50th time. Yeah. That's probably good. That's good. I I look down like a lot at this to make sure that we're recording because I'm I mean I have checked too. This is a little lore. I don't know that we've I'm not sure if we've said this, but we did. We did record a first episode that maybe we'll throw on Patreon because we did edit it. But um we did record a first episode and we didn't notice that it stopped recording like halfway through. Yeah. Um it was a pretty good episode, I think. Was that the Fiona app? Fiona. No, we didn't like that episode. It was like a lot of things. Yeah, it was before it was before that. And we were talking about um we were talking about YouTube, old school YouTube, and we're talking about like porn and stuff. Oh, we have a good episode. We'll drop it on Patreon. Yeah. I've grown so much. That was kind of my my confession that I've been thinking about over the last couple of weeks is that like this pod has kind of also been a therapy session for me. Whoa. Like, well, yes. Just in the sense that like I have kind of always had social anxiety. I'm always like really afraid to like lay my stake in a social situation. Like I always feel really nervous about saying something because anytime that I would say something, I also feel like I'm kind of stupid. Like I feel like if you're like being asked a question by a teacher and you get it wrong, that's sometimes how I feel. And so this has been a really nice space for me to be like, hey, that's actually not always the case. Even though, now that I'm in school right now, there are some times where I raise my hand and say something, and I'm like, God, I made a damn fool of myself. Idiot! Yeah, exactly. And there's been a couple of times where I'm like, oh, I've I think I've crossed a crossed a line here. I'm not sure exactly what I did or whatever, but um but yeah, this has kind of been like a therapy session for me in a sense of saying, like, it's hey, it's okay to tell a story, and it's okay to slow down. People are still people will still listen to you. Yeah. Like you said to just keep going, keep chugging and keep chugging along. Keep chugging along, and you'll have a great time. And during the editing process, I'm realizing this is gonna be helpful for me in the next couple of weeks because I'm starting summer classes tomorrow. Hey. Um, and in those classes, I will have to record myself. I'm pretty sure like having a pretend therapy session. And guess who's been looking at myself, listening to me speak a couple of times? So I think it's gonna be visual a lot. It is horrible. Like terrible to hear. Like listening to my own voice. It's been much easier now, but like, yeah, the first couple of times editing this pod, I was like, that man is so dumb. I mean, um gay. Yeah. Fag. Exactly. Exactly. That's what I've been saying. That's what I say. That's what I say. That's me and Melissa to say that about you. You wake up and you're like, What? That's a gay guy. That's a gay guy. Constant, constant. I think um every time I watch the episode when I'm editing, um, which is not as often as Nick, but sometimes I'm editing, and I literally have considered put like taping my screen to not see myself because it is so horrible. Like, I was literally like, I need something to put on my screen. Like, I was like, should I tape something there so I don't see my face and my body and my side profile and my posture because every time it's the worst thing I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah. The worst thing I've ever seen. And to know I'm gonna have to do this in grad school for years with clients where I'm trying to come up with something to respond to them. That made me think about the game I'm playing right now called Vampire Therapist. Oh, you're still playing vampire therapy. Have I talked about this on pod already? You talked about it on the lost episode of all too tired. Oh, that's right. The lost, the lost episode is a great episode. Um, I've been playing it, and I have actually been like learning a lot of really great skills. So, whenever you're ready for it, it might be a great learning tool for you. Perfect. I'm still deeply into my Tamodachi life. That's true. No, and you should be. Do you have a confession? No. Are you feeling saintly? I'm feeling saintly right now. No confession. Wow. Our first holy episode. Well that. Well, do you have any final thoughts? My final thoughts are I love you. Loving you. Love you guys. Love what we're doing here. We're doing good work. We're changing the world. We're changing lives. One pink microphone at a time. Yeah. Love you guys. Love you guys. Bye. Thank you for listening to Degress and Confess. Our show was created and produced by us, Holly, Nick, and Melissa. Our show was edited by Nick. Our music is also by Nick. The views we share in our podcast are our own and do not represent the views of our employers. If you enjoyed hanging out with us, please rate and review wherever you're listening. T T Y Long